Yesterday seemed to start off as any Sundays, going slow while realizing it was the last day of the week. However, things changed when I got informed that my mother was hospitalized. Being unprepared, it took me almost a day to realize that she has been operated and requires at least a half year to recover. Mental pain point: the same day we had a fight where the discussion basically drills down to me not only being nog appreciative towards her, but also to hold an inner friction towards some events which took place in my past and where a link could be found between her and the cause of the event. It was the first time she cried during our discussions. That moment I knew the verbal battle broke her heart. The instant guilt I felt as till now, it is only the second time I saw my mum crying for personal matters.
The consequences of the accident not only holds an impact on her health, but also on my life. As she would not be able to stand properly for the coming months or year, it means that a large portion of her daily choires will fall on my shoulders.
My life for the coming months will consist of my own professional career from 9h till 18h (I'm now obliged to put a maximum on 18h30 as otherwise my other tasks would not be done), work in the restaurant from 19h till 21h (I'm glad that I'll be supported by a friend of my father, meaning that during the weekdays, my evenings wouldn't be all to hectic, and the weekends will be more bearable), in the meantime make sure my mum gets what she needs; taking care of the required household tasks; trying to work on my personal goals (or at least plan it); get some sleep and hopefully next morning have the motivation to go to the gym (as I still pay the monthly fee, need to make use of it asap!).
It sounds hectic and it is. Yesterday and today, I got a glimpse of how my mum's life has been. Having the personal experience, I realized the hard work she has put into maintaining the only source of income of this family for the past 18 years, while taking care of the household and me.
Now the roles have reversed. This is also the main reason behind the title of the blog post: it seems what happened isn't a coincidence: the day I made my mother so sad by being not appreciative towards her, is the same day that changes my life as of now on I'm obliged to take care of her while taking over the majority of her tasks.
I'm happy. I really see this event that both of us required to make a switch. What mother has to learn out of this experience is not only take better care of her symptoms and be more cautious, but she is now forced to let others do her choires, something she never wanted to share. She is now forced to be taken care of. She is now forced to slow down her pace and regain the sleep she lost.
From my side, learning by doing, I have to truly and fully realize what my mother went through the past 18 years is not evident and should certainly not be dilluted. At the same time, I will learn how to contribute to the family. I will have to increase my organisational capacity as I also want to work on my perosnal goals.
I have already learned the flexibility of one's character: people often complain how litlle time they have, but by increasing the activities, the same amount of complaints would remain, while extra activities are being achieved. Meaning, we often think we utilize every minute of our day efficiently, but by increasing the number of activities, more things are getting done, leading to a higher efficiency than before.
The consequences of the accident not only holds an impact on her health, but also on my life. As she would not be able to stand properly for the coming months or year, it means that a large portion of her daily choires will fall on my shoulders.
My life for the coming months will consist of my own professional career from 9h till 18h (I'm now obliged to put a maximum on 18h30 as otherwise my other tasks would not be done), work in the restaurant from 19h till 21h (I'm glad that I'll be supported by a friend of my father, meaning that during the weekdays, my evenings wouldn't be all to hectic, and the weekends will be more bearable), in the meantime make sure my mum gets what she needs; taking care of the required household tasks; trying to work on my personal goals (or at least plan it); get some sleep and hopefully next morning have the motivation to go to the gym (as I still pay the monthly fee, need to make use of it asap!).
It sounds hectic and it is. Yesterday and today, I got a glimpse of how my mum's life has been. Having the personal experience, I realized the hard work she has put into maintaining the only source of income of this family for the past 18 years, while taking care of the household and me.
Now the roles have reversed. This is also the main reason behind the title of the blog post: it seems what happened isn't a coincidence: the day I made my mother so sad by being not appreciative towards her, is the same day that changes my life as of now on I'm obliged to take care of her while taking over the majority of her tasks.
I'm happy. I really see this event that both of us required to make a switch. What mother has to learn out of this experience is not only take better care of her symptoms and be more cautious, but she is now forced to let others do her choires, something she never wanted to share. She is now forced to be taken care of. She is now forced to slow down her pace and regain the sleep she lost.
From my side, learning by doing, I have to truly and fully realize what my mother went through the past 18 years is not evident and should certainly not be dilluted. At the same time, I will learn how to contribute to the family. I will have to increase my organisational capacity as I also want to work on my perosnal goals.
I have already learned the flexibility of one's character: people often complain how litlle time they have, but by increasing the activities, the same amount of complaints would remain, while extra activities are being achieved. Meaning, we often think we utilize every minute of our day efficiently, but by increasing the number of activities, more things are getting done, leading to a higher efficiency than before.
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