We are all cursed to live our lives. As a women, our general age would be around 80 years old. It's not long, in comparison with the existence of the universe, we only live a breeze, the moment it announces its presence is also the moment of its departure. We came as human, while what preceded us and what comes next will remain a mystery throughout the history of human kind.
Now that we're here any ways, why not live the best of it? Our life is short and our lives together offers an interesting mixture of the good and the ugly. So, could anyone give me an argument not to make the best of it? But how come most of us end up becoming depressed or living their lives as if time is standing still and they have an eternity ahead of them? How come most of us get bored and unhappy in our lives?
I admit it's scary to live, when things are going right we know we got to expect the worse to happen. But why will all this hold us back to live? Why do most people live according to a tight schedule all planned out in a standardized plan? Why am I one of them and why do I not understand the choices I've made for my life? That precious short period of time in which I'm here around, present in all my glory, but hiding myself, scared and anxious about the world, but so curious about what can happen that this curiosity triggers my imagination about my role here between the others.
We got to become passionated. We got to become passionated about living as it is short and we only have this one chance to live it with our identity. We all have dreams in which we become the most brilliant, or admired person the world would encounter. We dream because we need this acknowledgement about our own existence from others, we need the recognition about our contribution. Most of us are only limited in daydreaming, but we freeze when thinking about acting upon it, as suddenly we do not have the capacity any longer: "oh come on, I'm not pretty enough" "I'm not smart enough" etc. Most of us get blown away by benchmarking with our peers, or we get heart broken by one of two criticism.
I truly believe just like the way we all have developed this habit of under estimating ourselves, we all possess over the capacity to learn to trust our gutts and to go for it. Just like Buddhism states, it all starts from a thought.
They are a couple of known root causes of the fear which prevents us of becoming passionated:
1) Though we dream, we've learned to under estimate our own capacity, making us to turn away ofrom things we would like to try out, but too afraid of getting disappointed.
2) We're too sensitive towards other people's criticism which overwhelms us from listening to what we want to do or choose. We rather choose acceptence from others than to suffer short pain but to choose for what we want.
Probably they are not the only cause, but I'm sure most of us share these two in common.
It's sad but also hopeful to derive that the cause of both causes is impacted by us: of what we think about ourselves and the value we give to the opinion of others. So it's not completely externalized, we have an impact to change our thoughts in order to reverse the wheel and see how our lives could change.
Step one would be to know what you want, and then just go straight to the action step: taking all the necessary actions in order to try out what you think you want. Skip the step of self pity and under estimation: it not only ansorbs time but it would not contribute any value.
For the second issue, yes it's hard to not feel hurt when the criticism is directed to us, people are social animals and we appreciate social recognition. But you got to realize that is this world, you will never succeed in being liked by everyone. Moreover, even if you manage to make most of your encounters appreciate you, you will probably invest most of your spare time to find out how to satisfy others instead of using the time to discover what you want. People who appreciate you will always be there, no matter in which stage you find yourselves in your life, and people who like you don't have the obligation to always like you. We got to learn to live with this unpredictability as we don't have the control over others. In short, learn to become thick skinned!
I'm not one of the few young enlighted creatures. However, I've reached a stage in my life where I've never been so clear about my potential to change my current situation: a miserable person who from the moment she wakes up desires to go back to sleep while during the day she pulls herself through the activities while being completely numb about things. I do not desire to look into the mirror too often as I do not like what I see, I hate my current life style as what I want is still not present in my life, I hate my character of being this soft and naive creature who just doesn't dare to stand up for her own, a person who has lived in this numb unhappiness for already several years while I had to change to decide for myself. In short, I pretty much dislike myself in all aspects. But what keeps me now going, is the realization that I have the capacity to change everything I dislike about myself. The only thing I need to do is to do something. It's always easy to live the role of a victime, to blame external factors for your destiny, but what do you achieve from it? A short living pity from others perhaps, but no one can withstand a person who is continuously complianing.
This is the thing: though many external factors have played a role resulting in your current situation (in my case a miserable person), we all bear a portion of responsibility: we're reponsible for our lives. Only then we have a chance to change the situation in which we feel unhappy.
Now that we're here any ways, why not live the best of it? Our life is short and our lives together offers an interesting mixture of the good and the ugly. So, could anyone give me an argument not to make the best of it? But how come most of us end up becoming depressed or living their lives as if time is standing still and they have an eternity ahead of them? How come most of us get bored and unhappy in our lives?
I admit it's scary to live, when things are going right we know we got to expect the worse to happen. But why will all this hold us back to live? Why do most people live according to a tight schedule all planned out in a standardized plan? Why am I one of them and why do I not understand the choices I've made for my life? That precious short period of time in which I'm here around, present in all my glory, but hiding myself, scared and anxious about the world, but so curious about what can happen that this curiosity triggers my imagination about my role here between the others.
We got to become passionated. We got to become passionated about living as it is short and we only have this one chance to live it with our identity. We all have dreams in which we become the most brilliant, or admired person the world would encounter. We dream because we need this acknowledgement about our own existence from others, we need the recognition about our contribution. Most of us are only limited in daydreaming, but we freeze when thinking about acting upon it, as suddenly we do not have the capacity any longer: "oh come on, I'm not pretty enough" "I'm not smart enough" etc. Most of us get blown away by benchmarking with our peers, or we get heart broken by one of two criticism.
I truly believe just like the way we all have developed this habit of under estimating ourselves, we all possess over the capacity to learn to trust our gutts and to go for it. Just like Buddhism states, it all starts from a thought.
They are a couple of known root causes of the fear which prevents us of becoming passionated:
1) Though we dream, we've learned to under estimate our own capacity, making us to turn away ofrom things we would like to try out, but too afraid of getting disappointed.
2) We're too sensitive towards other people's criticism which overwhelms us from listening to what we want to do or choose. We rather choose acceptence from others than to suffer short pain but to choose for what we want.
Probably they are not the only cause, but I'm sure most of us share these two in common.
It's sad but also hopeful to derive that the cause of both causes is impacted by us: of what we think about ourselves and the value we give to the opinion of others. So it's not completely externalized, we have an impact to change our thoughts in order to reverse the wheel and see how our lives could change.
Step one would be to know what you want, and then just go straight to the action step: taking all the necessary actions in order to try out what you think you want. Skip the step of self pity and under estimation: it not only ansorbs time but it would not contribute any value.
For the second issue, yes it's hard to not feel hurt when the criticism is directed to us, people are social animals and we appreciate social recognition. But you got to realize that is this world, you will never succeed in being liked by everyone. Moreover, even if you manage to make most of your encounters appreciate you, you will probably invest most of your spare time to find out how to satisfy others instead of using the time to discover what you want. People who appreciate you will always be there, no matter in which stage you find yourselves in your life, and people who like you don't have the obligation to always like you. We got to learn to live with this unpredictability as we don't have the control over others. In short, learn to become thick skinned!
I'm not one of the few young enlighted creatures. However, I've reached a stage in my life where I've never been so clear about my potential to change my current situation: a miserable person who from the moment she wakes up desires to go back to sleep while during the day she pulls herself through the activities while being completely numb about things. I do not desire to look into the mirror too often as I do not like what I see, I hate my current life style as what I want is still not present in my life, I hate my character of being this soft and naive creature who just doesn't dare to stand up for her own, a person who has lived in this numb unhappiness for already several years while I had to change to decide for myself. In short, I pretty much dislike myself in all aspects. But what keeps me now going, is the realization that I have the capacity to change everything I dislike about myself. The only thing I need to do is to do something. It's always easy to live the role of a victime, to blame external factors for your destiny, but what do you achieve from it? A short living pity from others perhaps, but no one can withstand a person who is continuously complianing.
This is the thing: though many external factors have played a role resulting in your current situation (in my case a miserable person), we all bear a portion of responsibility: we're reponsible for our lives. Only then we have a chance to change the situation in which we feel unhappy.
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